Lately, we’ve been helping one of our neighbors get ready to move. She mainly needs help selling her furniture. Part of this involves dismantling it for pickup. The other day we went over to help her dismantle her bed. The woman had more weapons on her bedside table than Amelia Peabody could carry in her skirt AND umbrella! She had the obvious things like her car keys, which sported an alarm button. She also had a separate alarm device that when activated did some sort of screaming bells and whistles with flashing lights. One quarter of the table was taken up by a large bull horn. I’m not sure what she thought she would do with that–yell at the intruder? Start giving orders? Scream into it in order to be heard over the other alarms?
As we moved pillows off the bed, I found a taser under one of the pillows. Good GRIEF. I’m not sure why you need ANY of the other alarms if you own a taser. As she moved each item to the other bedroom, we were treated to a test of each one, including the high-voltage crackle of the taser. GOOD GRIEF, WOMAN. Put that thing down before you accidentally taser yourself! And don’t POINT anything at me!!!
When the neighbor spoke into the bullhorn the electronics in the device magnified her voice by enough decibels that Amelia Peabody could probably hear her in Egypt. Well, until the batteries fell out the bottom. I suppose that would be useful if they fell on the toes of the no doubt stunned and now deaf robber.
And yes. She has a whole house alarm. I hope she feels safe with all that noise potential. I also hope she doesn’t read my blog. She might come over here with that taser!!!
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