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Careful: My Neighbor is Armed

Lately, we’ve been helping one of our neighbors get ready to move. She mainly needs help selling her furniture. Part of this involves dismantling it for pickup. The other day we went over to help her dismantle her bed. The woman had more weapons on her bedside table than Amelia Peabody could carry in her skirt AND umbrella! She had the obvious things like her car keys, which sported an alarm button. She also had a separate alarm device that when activated did some sort of screaming bells and whistles with flashing lights. One quarter of the table was taken up by a large bull horn. I’m not sure what she thought she would do with that–yell at the intruder? Start giving orders? Scream into it in order to be heard over the other alarms?

As we moved pillows off the bed, I found a taser under one of the pillows. Good GRIEF. I’m not sure why you need ANY of the other alarms if you own a taser. As she moved each item to the other bedroom, we were treated to a test of each one, including the high-voltage crackle of the taser. GOOD GRIEF, WOMAN. Put that thing down before you accidentally taser yourself! And don’t POINT anything at me!!!

When the neighbor spoke into the bullhorn the electronics in the device magnified her voice by enough decibels that Amelia Peabody could probably hear her in Egypt. Well, until the batteries fell out the bottom. I suppose that would be useful if they fell on the toes of the no doubt stunned and now deaf robber.

And yes. She has a whole house alarm. I hope she feels safe with all that noise potential. I also hope she doesn’t read my blog. She might come over here with that taser!!!

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Posted: May 1, 2016
Filed in Walks in Life


  1. geez she expecting an army? maybe she’s Stephanie Plum in disguise? (or more likely her grandmother).

    Comment by Margaret — May 1, 2016 @ 2:29 pm

  2. Yeah, she’s kind of like Grandma Mazur. (Not sure I spelled that right). Mazer? She does come up with some HIGHLY improbable plans…

    Comment by Maria — May 1, 2016 @ 2:38 pm

  3. THat woman is prepared!!1

    Comment by tibet — May 2, 2016 @ 8:09 am

  4. What I want to know is, How does she decide WHICH weapon to use FIRST? That’s a lot of things to grab all at once!!! 🙂

    Comment by Maria — May 2, 2016 @ 8:12 am

  5. Of course, if all else fails, she could beat the robber to death with that bullhorn…

    Comment by Maria — May 2, 2016 @ 8:12 am

  6. I’m starting to see a book scene in this…

    Comment by Maria — May 2, 2016 @ 8:13 am

  7. I could definitely see a scene like this in a Sedona book. Sedona’s eccentric Aunt or maybe Grandmother?
    She must be getting ready for the zombie apocalypse. At least none of these weapons are exactly lethal, so that’s a comfort. OTOH, she might scare an intruder to death.

    Comment by Dee/LoveMyBooks — May 3, 2016 @ 2:35 pm

  8. She’s pretty scary…

    Comment by Maria — May 3, 2016 @ 2:44 pm

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