Cats have an uncanny ability to go right where you’d rather they not.  Junior’s latest favorite place is right smack in the middle of the phlox outside my work window.  Of course, as long as he isn’t planted inside my veggie garden, propped up on top of a tomato plant, I probably shouldn’t complain!  He has finally learned that the veggie garden is not a litterbox–that takes a while, but once the cat figures out it is a place that people play and cats can too, they tend to want to do their business elsewhere!

So Junior sits in the flowers and pretends to hunt birds.  His mother, Scamp, is completely embarassed by his lack of diligence in this area.  She has been known to mutter, “That can’t be my kitten,” while stalking away after watching him:

1. See bird.

2. Focus on bird.

3. Crouch.

4. Wind up back legs.

5. Stay in the ready position until something else captures his attention, letting the bird go about its business and eventually fly off.   It is at this point that his mother gives a gruntle (a cross between a hiss, meow and howl) of dispair and stalks away.

Scamp is an excellent birder and was probably able to stay alive by stealing dog food, the occasional bird, lizards and garbage.  Her son…enjoys the chase, but hasn’t put his mind to it.  Worse, he lazes out and fades from the ready crouch into…nap.  No, we aren’t overfeeding him.  He looks fat in this picture, but that’s just because he has oozed all over the flowers.  The aforementioned “crouch”  has faded to “couch potato.”  It’s part of a cat’s natural ability to spread out when they are in an area where you’d rather they not be.  This is most commonly seen indoors when you take off your expensive wool pants.  Even if you put them on the back of a chair, they will somehow end on the floor.  The cat will not just sit on a single corner and shed.  NO, the cat will roll himself up in the pants, wiggle so that the maximum amount of fur is shed, unroll, flip the pants over and reroll on the other side.  It’s amazing, really.   You would think that with such talent, you’d be able to teach a cat to iron, but so far, I’ve had no luck.